Monday, November 20, 2006

Digestive masochism

Why is it that women have an obsessive craving for full-grain bread products?

I'm sure varied food is good and all, but I don't really care for mother-in-law's full-grain oatmeal buns, when they've been frozen to death and then re-heated for consumption in the early hours of what was supposed to be a good day. It's like eating dehydrated compost. Your tongue feels all swollen when the blood vessels succumb to oral osmosis. The coffee you desperately need to process it with turns back into its instant form and gets crunchy. The density is like that of pulverized lead.

I prefer my buns to be white, fluffy, crispy, and not craving more energy to consume than they provide.

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